Wednesday, May 5, 2010

When the boobs talk...

My breastfeeding journey was a pathetic one. When I was pregnant, everyone was asking me whether I will breastfeed my baby. Looking at my decent boobs,  "Of course!", I exclaimed.

Then came the baby, but I was too weak after the surgery, because of that I missed my window of opportunity of introducing my lovely boobs to baby. Later, when we reached home, came the Confinement Lady who told me that I shud rest after a major surgery and let her bottlefeed baby during the nights, hence baby was taken away from me, again I missed the golden hour to establish milk supply during midnite. The electric pump was not doing any good, I have the milk but I can't pump it out, it was frustrating. All i got was elongated deformed nipples. Left with no choice, I nursed baby during the day.

One month later, when the Dr. confirmed that bloody stool are caused by Soya Milk Protein and Cow's Milk Protein allergy. I was really determined to exclusively breastfeed my baby but that was just wishful thinking because of poor establishment during the 1st month, milk supply was really low, after 45mins to 1hour of nursing, I have to supplement it with formula. I never give up, I always believe that I will produce enough milk for my baby.

For the first 3 months, baby was drinking from the boobs and later supplement with bottle. He took the boobs n bottle like a pro. Then when I went back to work on the 4th month, my milk supply has never increased. EBM was just 2.5oz to 3oz a day.

Baby went on nursing strike! I felt rejected! It was heart breaking but giving up wasn't in my dictionary. I tried all sorts of things to increase breastmilk. I had Fenugreek, Red Raspberry Leaves, Papaya Fish Head Soup, Malunggay Leaf, Barley, Cod Fish, Spirullina, Oatmilk, Soyamilk anything you can find on the internet just to INCREASE BREAST MILK. I was really determined! If you tell me taking hamster or monkey shit will increase supply, I swear to the moon that I'll give it a try. I even went to the doctors and let them fiddled with my boobs, both of them taught me hand expression. I was the master of Hand Expression at no time, but there's a price to pay, I ended up having bruises around the boobs. Back then, I could only yield less than 0.5oz a day! It was discouraging.

When Isaac started taking solids at 6 months, I told myself 'MAYBE' its about time to stop. Even I don't produce a lot of milk, I struggled for at least 3 weeks just because of weaning guilt. So many things crossed the mind and most of them were negative. I was struggling, learning and looking for an answer, it was an emotional journey I must admit.

When all I could see was soreness and bruises, I picked up the cues and I decided to listen to my boobs. And I think I made the very right choice. So I'm glad I have a pair of smart talking boobs and also a smart son who thinks that sucking on mummy's nen nen is such a waste of time. THE END


Julie said...

You are a great mommy. Many would have given up in the beginning but you didn't.

You'd learnt from experience so you'll know what to do for your next baby.

Marie said...

Julie, you are a great mummy too. Yea, i shud learn from experience, and also learn from all you great mummies out there.

Elaine Yong said...

add oil.. :)

mNhL said...

LOL! Sorry to laugh but the last paragraph was really funny. Sometimes, we have to act according to our instict. I did not managed to BF both my kids too. 1st lack of encouragement from family. MIL always think feeding formula is easier. 2nd lack of confidence and lazy too. But I believe, nowadays formula milk are formulated as good as BF.

mom2ashleyaidan said...

tell me about it - about the weaning guilt. I had that guilt too especially after having ashley. then i convinced myself that a happy mom makes a happy baby. If mom i stressed, the baby can pick it up and be stressed too. You are happier now right ? :) Enjoy motherhood!:)

Angeleyes said...

It's ok.... there is always a next time!

To know that you've done your best is good enough... Bravo mommy!